greetings, and happy 4 AM to you where ever you are or something.
I’ve decided to start using the blogging feature for what it was originally intended to be used for, as I thought it a good idea to get some thoughts down somewhere, and maybe spark some sounding board type discussions between commenters.
anyways, before we get into the meat and potatos of this post, let me start off by telling you a bit about myself. My name’s Gabriel maduro, I’m a fairly recently turned 18 yearold as of writing, (which, by the way, is scary as hell), and I’ve just started a fiew things: 1. college, which, by the way, I’ve got to be at in about 4 and a half hours, and 2, this blind independant living course bassed out of the state I live in here in the US.
Here’s the thing about this program though. It’s supposed to simulate a communal living situation in which you live alongside, in my case, about 8 people. The 9 of us all have to fend for ourselves. Buying our own groceries with money we’ve got to source internally, while also juggleing a classload of at least 4 college classes at a university of our choice. Time management? all you friend. Fallbacks? nonexistent. *pauses*, shit. does it sound like I’m complaining? I genuinly don’t wanna make it sound as though this is a thing I was forced into or something, cause I knew exactly what I was doing when I filled out that form. The group of people I’ve got around me are amazing, and if you really need it, the staff help you figure things out. I’ve always considered what I’m doing at the second as the life version of a polar plunge, but realistically even that’s unfair. But I digress. The reason for the creation of this post in the first place is as follows. Growing up in the caribbean I was quite angry about what I called the situation blind people in the more developed world put themselves in. I didn’t have a choice growing up, and the fact people out there existed who did and did nothing for their own lives pissed me off to no end. Do I still believe that you’ve got a choice? Hell yeah I do, and nothing will change my mind on that. But do I understand why some people don’t do what needs to be done to live a semi-normal life? also yes. It’s fucking hard bro. I’m plagued by anxiety about what, or even if I’m going to eat on the dayly. I know that one impulsive amazon order and I won’t have fresh food for upwards of a week, and it’s terifying. But on the otherhand it also stems from a place of deep and heartborn dedication. I left my home country because I wanted to make a change, and that’s another one of those things no one’ll change my mind on.
in conclusion, let this be a bit of motivation for some. It’s never, and I do mean never too late to make a lifealtering change in your life. I’m a tiney unassuming person, and I’m well aware that it’s possible that something bad could happen to me while walking to and from college, or the grocery store, or a restaurant, or where ever really. But at the same time I understand it’s something I have, yes have to do if I want any kind of control over my own life what soever. It’s so easy, even borderline socially acceptable to rationalise staying in mom’s bassment untill age 45. "The job market is brutal." or "I’m just a socially awkward person." firstly, there’s nothing that stops us from learning the core basics of ILS and becoming a line cook at McDonalds, and 2, that social awkwardness doesn’t seem to stop you being a keyboard warrier on the internet. Go ahead. Call me an asshole, but it’s true. There are so many times where I’ve just wanted to give up, flop on the floor, and let this world, that’s clearly not built with us in mind go on without me, but I know I can’t, so I do what I can to prove the abelists who do all they can to make the afor mentioned mentality socially acceptable wrong and laugh in their faces, and I hope you all, of any age, will grow to do the same. Let’s fight them together. Thanks for reading.